It’s probably been about a year since I last posted… not that anyone was vitally dependent on what I have to say but I kind of miss it. It’s nice to have a place I can get all my thoughts out without having someone interrupt me about how their problems are so much more relevant or how they know so much more about whatever the topic may be. Anyway, I feel the need to express my latest revelations.

It has been brought to my attention that a lot of people are stricken with anxiety. I realize that life can be stressful, but freaking out about something that is not under your control is a huge waste of time. As in you cannot control when the world ends and I promise you, there is nothing you can do about it so stop trying to “prepare for the ice age!” I’m not the wisest, smartest, or most experienced human on the planet but I do think I’m on to something here. I think that as a whole our society does not know how to chill out. There is a time and a place for anxiety but it is not every little thing that goes wrong or something you feel is impended but hasn’t actually heppened. Your life will never be perfect, your mistakes and bumps in the road are what make you. I am not saying you should try to mess up but realize that you will at some point. So don’t lay on the ground wallowing in self pity and crawl to your therapist for the latest prescription for various stress disorders. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, you aren’t dying, in fact you are living. Life is about learning to deal with sticky situations. I firmly believe that we are such a babied culture. Seriously, there is a pill for everything. If you can’t focus, it’s a psychological disorder; if you’re hyper, it’s a psychological disorder; if you are moody, it’s a psychological disorder. I understand that some people actually do need medication for these things but children are not supposed to be 100% focused and calm 100% of the time. They are children! They are meant to run around outside and get dirty and be kids! Stop freaking out about germs! We are made with amazing, adaptable immune systems so that when we are exposed to pathogens we can build immunity against them. Yes, vaccines are good and helpful and should be utilized… for infections that we aren’t exposed to in the U.S. You don’t need to freak out if you get a little scraped up playing in the dirt. Granted, there are exceptions, but there are always exceptions. Stop trying to make your kid the next Einstein and let them go roll in the mud for awhile. Sorry, I’ll get off my soap box. I hope you get my point though. Your experiences make you who you are, the good and the bad. Own it.

You were singing to me, yet I heard nothing,

You were dancing around me, yet I saw nothing,

You were with me, yet I felt so alone,

You were guiding me, yet I felt lost,

Open my ears, open my eyes,

Open my heart and open my mind,

Lord I want to see more of You.

So I watched Beauty and the Beast today.  First of all, I love that movie; second, I noticed something about Gaston this time that I didn’t before. You know in the beginning when Belle is walking through the village reading her book and Gaston is singing about how he’s “making plans to woo and marry Belle”? Well that’s just it, he’s planning on wooing and marrying Belle. That kinda slapped me in the face because if you think about it, that era’s “douche-bag” would be this era’s gentleman. Seriously, you don’t hear your average guy saying, “Wow, she’s so beautiful, I think I’m gonna woo and marry her.” No, you hear them saying things like, “d***, I’d tap that,” or “Eh yo girl, you looking to have a little fun? ;)”. Now I realize there are still gentleman out there and most of my guy friends are wonderful gentleman, but to think that what that culture considered a real jerk, the women in this culture would probably think is some kind of god. Really, the only thing that’s wrong with Gaston is his arrogance. Of course, most of the woman in this era don’t respect themselves and act like ladies anyway, so what can we expect from guys? We have told them by our actions that it is ok to treat us like meat but then fuss at them and call them a**-holes when they do. I know I’ve blogged about chivalry and lady-likeness before but realizing this today really opened my eyes. Every girl wants to be sought after and called beautiful, not hot and I believe that’s how it’s supposed to be but guys just don’t realize that’s their job anymore. And girls don’t respect themselves, most of them think that a guy will love them more if they have sex with him on a second date. Guys, it doesn’t make you cool to treat girls like meat and girls, guys will only think you’re easy if you let them have their way with you, they aren’t going to respect you unless you respect yourself.

If you wanna take a walk, I would walk this entire state with you by my side.

 I’ll understand if you’re not interested,

I’ll move on.

One can only dream though,

To be at the right hand of someone so special.

God had great things in mind surrounding your creation,

Giving all the brains, looks, and wonder.

Often caught in a mid-day dream,

Pondering life in your arms,

Can’t imagine where I’d rather be.

Something in your eyes,

Beckons me to wonder,

What stories are theirs to tell.

I want to sit forever and just listen,

To learn about your life,

And the outlook you hold to it.

I want to walk down the street,

Holding your hand,

While you inquire about my state-of-mind.

I want to be the one,

To whom you say good morning,

And good night, sleep tight.

God will forever be the keeper of my heart,

But, perhaps, one day, He’ll let you borrow it.

All to Him I owe… ALL to Him I owe. Do you realize just how much we owe Jesus? Ok lets go back a little bit here, to creation, Eden, Adam and Eve. Humans messed up, and it wasn’t Satan’s fault, it wasn’t Eve’s fault, it wasn’t Adam’s fault. It was all of their faults. They downright disobeyed God. God told them they would surely die if they ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, which they did. They deliberately disobeyed God; however, if you read closely in Genesis it says they heard the sound of God approaching after they hid. God came looking for them, knowing full well what they had just done. Then in Genesis 3:15 He actually hints that Christ will be coming to Earth as a savior. He said to the serpent that deceived Eve “And I will put enmity between you and woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you strike his heel.” God starts off talking about the tension that will be between women and snakes from now on, but halfway through He says “he will crush your head”. Who is “he”? I believe God was referencing the coming of Christ. So even though Adam and Eve just totally disappointed Him, He already has a plan to save humanity. How gracious is that? Humanity just let God down and He’s still planning on saving us? That blows my mind. Ok so first, we owe God giving humanity grace even though we totally blew it (by the way, I say “we” because in Adam and Eve’s situation you and I would have done exactly the same thing, don’t even try and act like you wouldn’t); and second, we owe Christ for dying so we could live. And when I say “dying” I don’t mean going peacefully in His sleep. God gave everything so we might have a second chance. His son WILLINGLY suffered and died so we could live instead; and some people still reject Him, I honestly don’t get it. Yes, you may have had many more hardships then I could ever imagine but do you really think God is responsible? Satan still exists, remember? Instead of blaming God why don’t you let Him use those circumstances for good? We literally owe Him everything because He gave everything to us. He gave us our very life. He also gave us free will, which means we can choose to accept eternal life or not. To me, the choice is pretty clear.

So the other day I was gonna be earlier for work than I usually am (Excuse me for being the type of person that is always at least 5 minutes early, I hate being late, it is the worst for of insult. It’s like saying you’re not worth enough to me to waste my time being on time. Sorry, pet peeve.), so I stopped by starbucks. Ok, yes it’s summer and yes, it’s like an oven outside but I had the AC turned all the way up and I was kinda cold, which explains why I ordered one of my favorite things in the whole world. A non-fat mocha with a shot of peppermint. Ahhhh, it reminded me of winter. How I miss winter. I could really use a chilly, snowy, windy, grey day. The kind of day that makes you just want to stay inside and snuggle up with a cup of tea (or in this case a peppermint mocha) and enjoy a good book (yes I read and no, it’s not the most horrible thing in the world, it’s actually quite nice). On such days I also love to walk to the nearest coffee shop (order a peppermint mocha) and have a good conversation with a close friend. Doesn’t that just sound wonderful? I miss wearing jackets and boots. I miss having to cuddle up under the covers to stay warm instead of sticking one leg out in a desperate attempt to cool off. I don’t really know why I decided to blog about this. Normally I blog about feelings or actions or deep spiritual things. I guess I just wanna say enjoy the little things because sometimes the little things in life are what brings the most joy.

So I was laying out on the hill tonight like I do a lot of nights, if I’m not at the memorial, and I was watching the clouds and the stars. As I watched, every now and then a cloud would come and cover up the stars but in a few minutes I could see them again because the cloud blew away. God taught me something about that. You see, we are like the star. Satan tries to cover us up and steal our shine but guess what? We’re still there. Even if we’re covered up by trials and pain God can still see us. The clouds always pass under the stars, God is on the other side. He never loses sight of us, no matter how thick, how big, how dense that cloud is. He can also wipe away our clouds, leaving us visible and shining. Isn’t that encouraging? I thought so.