So today I wore my grandma’s pearls. The string of real pearls that she wore on her wedding day. She gave them to me when I graduated high school. Sometimes I think about my future.
I wonder if I am going to get married. I would like to think so. Here’s how I invision my wedding:
The color of the leaves would be turning a bright range or colors from gold to fire, signaling the beauty of late fall. My dress would be a beautiful cream color, lacy around the top completed by my grandmothers pearls. I imagine that it would be an outside wedding, surrounded by tall oak trees, all of them flaming. My groom would be standing in the little plain white gazebo. The chairs would be covered in red velvet and the pastor would be in a black tuxedo along with my fiance. My dad would escort me down the aisle, a bouquet of white roses in my hands.
Every girl dreams of her perfect wedding. I pray everyday for my future husband. I ask God to prepare him for me and to prepare me for him. There is only little problem. How do I know I’m getting married? There isn’t a manual that tells me everything that is going to happen in my life, if there was why would we need faith?
So, every night, when I pray for my future husband, I also pray for God’s will to be done. I would love to get married one day, have a family, be a stay at home mom. However, I don’t know for sure that is my call. What if God is calling me to singleness? What if He wants me to be a missionary nurse and travel the world? It’s a little hard to have a family in that situation. Would I be angry at God for blessing me with singleness? No, because it is just that. A blessing. It may not seem like it and of course it’s not my dream but He knows whats best for me. He knit me together in my mother’s womb (Pslam 139) He knows my every need, and want.
The point of this blog is to encourage you. If you are single, embrace it. You are there for a reason. There is growing that needs to happen. How can God speak to you when you are jumping from one relationship to the next without a break in between, looking for earthly things the fill the hole in your heart? He was, is, and will forever be your first lover. Only He can fill that emptiness. Before you can fully love someone else, you have to love God and you have to love yourself. If you are blessed with a healthy, beautiful relationship, that’s wonderful. You need to embrace that too, it is a gift just as singleness is. Singleness is not something to be ashamed of. If you are afraid of being single think again. Consider what you are gaining from each of those relationships. If they are tearing you down, degrading you, causing you give up on your standards, then you need to stop, slow down, and take a season of singleness. God knows what you need and when you need it, I promise. He’s not gonna break your heart, He’ll heal it.