Olivia Leigh

It's Been Awhile

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 18:08:40 -0400

It’s probably been about a year since I last posted… not that anyone was vitally dependent on what I have to say but I kind of miss it. It’s nice to have a place I can get all my thoughts out without having someone interrupt me about how their problems are so much more relevant or how they know so much more about whatever the topic may be. Anyway, I feel the need to express my latest revelations.

It has been brought to my attention that a lot of people are stricken with anxiety. I realize that life can be stressful, but freaking out about something that is not under your control is a huge waste of time. As in you cannot control when the world ends and I promise you, there is nothing you can do about it so stop trying to “prepare for the ice age!” I’m not the wisest, smartest, or most experienced human on the planet but I do think I’m on to something here. I think that as a whole our society does not know how to chill out. There is a time and a place for anxiety but it is not every little thing that goes wrong or something you feel is impended but hasn’t actually heppened. Your life will never be perfect, your mistakes and bumps in the road are what make you. I am not saying you should try to mess up but realize that you will at some point. So don’t lay on the ground wallowing in self pity and crawl to your therapist for the latest prescription for various stress disorders. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, you aren’t dying, in fact you are living. Life is about learning to deal with sticky situations. I firmly believe that we are such a babied culture. Seriously, there is a pill for everything. If you can’t focus, it’s a psychological disorder; if you’re hyper, it’s a psychological disorder; if you are moody, it’s a psychological disorder. I understand that some people actually do need medication for these things but children are not supposed to be 100% focused and calm 100% of the time. They are children! They are meant to run around outside and get dirty and be kids! Stop freaking out about germs! We are made with amazing, adaptable immune systems so that when we are exposed to pathogens we can build immunity against them. Yes, vaccines are good and helpful and should be utilized… for infections that we aren’t exposed to in the U.S. You don’t need to freak out if you get a little scraped up playing in the dirt. Granted, there are exceptions, but there are always exceptions. Stop trying to make your kid the next Einstein and let them go roll in the mud for awhile. Sorry, I’ll get off my soap box. I hope you get my point though. Your experiences make you who you are, the good and the bad. Own it.

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I..."

Thu, 27 Oct 2011 08:41:08 -0400

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

- The Serenity Prayer

"I want to be so close to God that anyone seeking my heart has to seek His first."

Tue, 11 Oct 2011 17:15:30 -0400

“I want to be so close to God that anyone seeking my heart has to seek His first.”

You were singing to me, yet I heard nothing, You were dancing...

Tue, 04 Oct 2011 11:43:46 -0400

You were singing to me, yet I heard nothing,

You were dancing around me, yet I saw nothing,

You were with me, yet I felt so alone,

You were guiding me, yet I felt lost,

Open my ears, open my eyes,

Open my heart and open my mind,

Lord I want to see more of You.

Well that's interesting...

Sat, 24 Sep 2011 19:08:09 -0400

So I watched Beauty and the Beast today. First of all, I love that movie; second, I noticed something about Gaston this time that I didn’t before. You know in the beginning when Belle is walking through the village reading her book and Gaston is singing about how he’s “making plans to woo and marry Belle”? Well that’s just it, he’s planning on wooing and marrying Belle. That kinda slapped me in the face because if you think about it, that era’s “douche-bag” would be this era’s gentleman. Seriously, you don’t hear your average guy saying, “Wow, she’s so beautiful, I think I’m gonna woo and marry her.” No, you hear them saying things like, “d***, I’d tap that,” or “Eh yo girl, you looking to have a little fun? ;)”. Now I realize there are still gentleman out there and most of my guy friends are wonderful gentleman, but to think that what that culture considered a real jerk, the women in this culture would probably think is some kind of god. Really, the only thing that’s wrong with Gaston is his arrogance. Of course, most of the woman in this era don’t respect themselves and act like ladies anyway, so what can we expect from guys? We have told them by our actions that it is ok to treat us like meat but then fuss at them and call them a**-holes when they do. I know I’ve blogged about chivalry and lady-likeness before but realizing this today really opened my eyes. Every girl wants to be sought after and called beautiful, not hot and I believe that’s how it’s supposed to be but guys just don’t realize that’s their job anymore. And girls don’t respect themselves, most of them think that a guy will love them more if they have sex with him on a second date. Guys, it doesn’t make you cool to treat girls like meat and girls, guys will only think you’re easy if you let them have their way with you, they aren’t going to respect you unless you respect yourself.

If you wanna take a walk, I would walk this entire state with...

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 10:23:00 -0400

If you wanna take a walk, I would walk this entire state with you by my side.

One Can Only Dream

Mon, 12 Sep 2011 17:26:00 -0400

I’ll understand if you’re not interested,

I’ll move on.

One can only dream though,

To be at the right hand of someone so special.

God had great things in mind surrounding your creation,

Giving all the brains, looks, and wonder.

Often caught in a mid-day dream,

Pondering life in your arms,

Can’t imagine where I’d rather be.

Something in your eyes,

Beckons me to wonder,

What stories are theirs to tell.

I want to sit forever and just listen,

To learn about your life,

And the outlook you hold to it.

I want to walk down the street,

Holding your hand,

While you inquire about my state-of-mind.

I want to be the one,

To whom you say good morning,

And good night, sleep tight.

God will forever be the keeper of my heart,

But, perhaps, one day, He’ll let you borrow it.

All to Him I owe… ALL to Him I owe. Do you realize just...

Wed, 07 Sep 2011 16:24:40 -0400

All to Him I owe… ALL to Him I owe. Do you realize just how much we owe Jesus? Ok lets go back a little bit here, to creation, Eden, Adam and Eve. Humans messed up, and it wasn’t Satan’s fault, it wasn’t Eve’s fault, it wasn’t Adam’s fault. It was all of their faults. They downright disobeyed God. God told them they would surely die if they ate of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, which they did. They deliberately disobeyed God; however, if you read closely in Genesis it says they heard the sound of God approaching after they hid. God came looking for them, knowing full well what they had just done. Then in Genesis 3:15 He actually hints that Christ will be coming to Earth as a savior. He said to the serpent that deceived Eve “And I will put enmity between you and woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will crush your head, and you strike his heel.” God starts off talking about the tension that will be between women and snakes from now on, but halfway through He says “he will crush your head”. Who is “he”? I believe God was referencing the coming of Christ. So even though Adam and Eve just totally disappointed Him, He already has a plan to save humanity. How gracious is that? Humanity just let God down and He’s still planning on saving us? That blows my mind. Ok so first, we owe God giving humanity grace even though we totally blew it (by the way, I say “we” because in Adam and Eve’s situation you and I would have done exactly the same thing, don’t even try and act like you wouldn’t); and second, we owe Christ for dying so we could live. And when I say “dying” I don’t mean going peacefully in His sleep. God gave everything so we might have a second chance. His son WILLINGLY suffered and died so we could live instead; and some people still reject Him, I honestly don’t get it. Yes, you may have had many more hardships then I could ever imagine but do you really think God is responsible? Satan still exists, remember? Instead of blaming God why don’t you let Him use those circumstances for good? We literally owe Him everything because He gave everything to us. He gave us our very life. He also gave us free will, which means we can choose to accept eternal life or not. To me, the choice is pretty clear.

So the other day I was gonna be earlier for work than I usually...

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 21:51:24 -0400

So the other day I was gonna be earlier for work than I usually am (Excuse me for being the type of person that is always at least 5 minutes early, I hate being late, it is the worst for of insult. It’s like saying you’re not worth enough to me to waste my time being on time. Sorry, pet peeve.), so I stopped by starbucks. Ok, yes it’s summer and yes, it’s like an oven outside but I had the AC turned all the way up and I was kinda cold, which explains why I ordered one of my favorite things in the whole world. A non-fat mocha with a shot of peppermint. Ahhhh, it reminded me of winter. How I miss winter. I could really use a chilly, snowy, windy, grey day. The kind of day that makes you just want to stay inside and snuggle up with a cup of tea (or in this case a peppermint mocha) and enjoy a good book (yes I read and no, it’s not the most horrible thing in the world, it’s actually quite nice). On such days I also love to walk to the nearest coffee shop (order a peppermint mocha) and have a good conversation with a close friend. Doesn’t that just sound wonderful? I miss wearing jackets and boots. I miss having to cuddle up under the covers to stay warm instead of sticking one leg out in a desperate attempt to cool off. I don’t really know why I decided to blog about this. Normally I blog about feelings or actions or deep spiritual things. I guess I just wanna say enjoy the little things because sometimes the little things in life are what brings the most joy.

Stars

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 22:35:38 -0400

So I was laying out on the hill tonight like I do a lot of nights, if I’m not at the memorial, and I was watching the clouds and the stars. As I watched, every now and then a cloud would come and cover up the stars but in a few minutes I could see them again because the cloud blew away. God taught me something about that. You see, we are like the star. Satan tries to cover us up and steal our shine but guess what? We’re still there. Even if we’re covered up by trials and pain God can still see us. The clouds always pass under the stars, God is on the other side. He never loses sight of us, no matter how thick, how big, how dense that cloud is. He can also wipe away our clouds, leaving us visible and shining. Isn’t that encouraging? I thought so.

His peace surpasses all understanding.

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 19:25:15 -0400

His peace surpasses all understanding.

Chai latte and a cinnamon scone

Fri, 01 Apr 2011 19:20:00 -0400

There is something about a warm chai latte and a cinnamon scone on a chilly day. Something about my favorite Starbucks drink that always makes my day better. Well now you may be wondering why my day wasn’t already good, why I needed Starbucks to begin with. Have you ever had one of those days where you just don’t know what you’re doing anymore? Where you wonder why you made friends with certain people? Where you question the things about yourself that you always assumed “came with the package?” I’m having one of those days. One of those days where homework is not an option, yet there is nothing else to do. A day where all I want to do is hang out with my best friends and talk over coffee. Yet here I sit, alone in this quiet coffee shop. You see, one of my best friends moved back to Ohio and the other one, well, he’s really popular and has a lot of friends wanting to hang out with him; needless to say, this happens to me a lot.

I’m not trying to spill my life and gripe about how it sucks. I just know that a lot of you may be able to relate to the situation I’m in. There is hope yet. You see, we are never alone. I frequently go outside, somewhere where I can be alone with God. I tell him all about how I feel ditched and how much I want one best friend I can do everything with. Once He gets me to calm down (He’s good at that) and to just listen to him I realize how selfish I am. Don’t ever tell God what you do and don’t need, because he kinda knows everything. And I mean everything. He tells me that I spend more time wishing I had someone to chill with then I do praying. How I feel alone but He’s all around me all the time. How I feel like no one’s listening but He remembers every word. You know, Satan always seeks to destroy us. I believe that He makes us feel alone so we drift from God. Well Satan, I have a word for you. You have no power over me. You may want me to feel all alone in this world but you have forgotten one thing, I was created by the ever-living God and I am never truly alone.

It’s amazing what happens once I say those words. I start to notice that I’m not actually alone. I see other people that God has been trying to show me that are hurting and need someone to listen to them. I see girls who hate what they look like and boys who take advantage of girls. I see old friends that I never talk to anymore. What would happen if I distributed my attention and friendship between all of them? Wouldn’t that do so much more for God’s kingdom than giving all my affection towards one person? I gave this advice to a close friend not too long ago. It was only recently however that I realized I needed to practice what I preached. I believe we need to become more in-tune to the world around us, more in-tune to God’s hand in our life, to His voice. Sometimes I feel like I get into this rut and the only things I focus on are school and my little circle of close friends. It’s not supposed to be like that. We’re meant to surround ourselves with lots of people, of all shapes and sizes. We learn from the people we associate with, which is also why it’s important to choose the right friends.

So, you are never alone. There is someone out there that listens to your every word and feels your every sorrow. Don’t ever forget that. You can ask Him those questions I talked about in the beginning. He listens, when no one else will.

So today I wore my grandma’s pearls. The string of real...

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 18:48:23 -0500

So today I wore my grandma’s pearls. The string of real pearls that she wore on her wedding day. She gave them to me when I graduated high school. Sometimes I think about my future.

I wonder if I am going to get married. I would like to think so. Here’s how I invision my wedding:

The color of the leaves would be turning a bright range or colors from gold to fire, signaling the beauty of late fall. My dress would be a beautiful cream color, lacy around the top completed by my grandmothers pearls. I imagine that it would be an outside wedding, surrounded by tall oak trees, all of them flaming. My groom would be standing in the little plain white gazebo. The chairs would be covered in red velvet and the pastor would be in a black tuxedo along with my fiance. My dad would escort me down the aisle, a bouquet of white roses in my hands.

Every girl dreams of her perfect wedding. I pray everyday for my future husband. I ask God to prepare him for me and to prepare me for him. There is only little problem. How do I know I’m getting married? There isn’t a manual that tells me everything that is going to happen in my life, if there was why would we need faith?

So, every night, when I pray for my future husband, I also pray for God’s will to be done. I would love to get married one day, have a family, be a stay at home mom. However, I don’t know for sure that is my call. What if God is calling me to singleness? What if He wants me to be a missionary nurse and travel the world? It’s a little hard to have a family in that situation. Would I be angry at God for blessing me with singleness? No, because it is just that. A blessing. It may not seem like it and of course it’s not my dream but He knows whats best for me. He knit me together in my mother’s womb (Pslam 139) He knows my every need, and want.

The point of this blog is to encourage you. If you are single, embrace it. You are there for a reason. There is growing that needs to happen. How can God speak to you when you are jumping from one relationship to the next without a break in between, looking for earthly things the fill the hole in your heart? He was, is, and will forever be your first lover. Only He can fill that emptiness. Before you can fully love someone else, you have to love God and you have to love yourself. If you are blessed with a healthy, beautiful relationship, that’s wonderful. You need to embrace that too, it is a gift just as singleness is. Singleness is not something to be ashamed of. If you are afraid of being single think again. Consider what you are gaining from each of those relationships. If they are tearing you down, degrading you, causing you give up on your standards, then you need to stop, slow down, and take a season of singleness. God knows what you need and when you need it, I promise. He’s not gonna break your heart, He’ll heal it.

Partial Birth Abortion: The baby is pulled through the birth...

Tue, 25 Jan 2011 19:43:43 -0500

Partial Birth Abortion: The baby is pulled through the birth canal all except for his/her head. Scissors are jammed into their skull and forced open to enlarge it. The brain is then sucked out through a catheter, causing the skull to collapse. The dead child is then removed. That’s not murder?

Too late.

Thu, 30 Dec 2010 01:25:29 -0500

Sometimes the hardest thing in life is finding out the one that’s meant to stay has already moved on.

Relationships

Thu, 16 Dec 2010 23:44:00 -0500

What a generation we were born into. Where “chivalry is dead” but whatever happened to lady-like behavior? If women expect men to treat them like ladies they must act like ladies. How can we expect men to control themselves when we dress like we run the corner and flirt like we want a one-night-stand? I fear our generation has fallen into a double standard. Where men have to be on their best behavior but women can do or say anything they want and get away with it.
I was on facebook today and I saw that 3 people went from “in a relationship” to “single”. I don’t believe in casual dating. I believe you shouldn’t date someone unless you see them as marriage material. Even then, if it doesn’t work out you should never leave that person with a piece missing. They should leave that relationship fully intact. That’s the problem with men this day in age. They think they can just take what they want from women and be done with it; in fact they make a game out of it. Men should treat women as they would want their future wife to be treated. And women should not make it hard on the men to control their natural urges. That being said guys, “I’m just a man” is not a excuse for anything. You have self control. And ladies, just because it’s “in” does not mean you should wear it.
I can’t stand it when I see girls or guys go from one relationship to another, back to back with hardly a break in between. That is why I am careful to say what a good age for marriage is. You are only ready to be married when you have found out who you are as your own person. Going from guy to guy to guy or girl to girl to girl does not give you time to individuate. After that I think there is a short time in there where you are just getting started on your own and you aren’t fully independent. I think that is the perfect time to be united with the love of you life for the rest of your life. Both of you have individuated but you aren’t so far along that you have your own schedule that you stick to without any variation. It is a time in your life that you will stand up for yourself but are more willing to compromise. That time may come right out of high school for some and for others, their 20s, 3os, or even 40s. No one’s to say when their time is.
I truly believe that most people tend to put God in a box. They say “I want to be married at age 20 and have 3 children by 25” or “I want my man to be tall, dark, and handsome….” or “my woman should have long blond hair, blue eyes, and red lips.” Their time will come and God will provide someone they are attracted to, on HIS time. Not theirs.
I strongly believe that everyone has a soul mate. With casual dating, “hooking up”, and “wearing your heart on your sleeve”, people are not preserving themselves as they ought. Marriage is a holy event, between a man and woman and it is to celebrated. If you give your heart to the One who created it I promise it won’t get chipped away with every passing relationship.
Women, will you act like the ladies you were designed to be and let the men treat you with respect; demand it in fact? And men, will you take on your duties as the natural-born leaders and protect the fragile hearts of women? Don’t let the “norms” of society tell you how to act. You will end up broken and disappointed.

Blessed

Wed, 08 Dec 2010 22:28:26 -0500

I caught myself today really upset because my day wasn’t going exactly how I planned. First of all I got 65s on two speeches I gave, second I got in a stupid fight with my roommates last night, and third I had a test in chemistry I didn’t know about. So yes, i was having a ruff day. But you know, I have so many things to be thankful for… I have a loving family who would do anything for me. I have amazing friends. I go to an incredible school that has changed my life. And most of all I have a savior who DIED for ME. ME! A filthy, stinking, sinner. I am so blessed and I was feeling sorry for myself over a few grades? What about the kids that can’t go to elementary school much less a private college? What about the kids that are barely getting enough to eat everyday? What about all the single moms who have to work 12 hour days just to buy a weeks worth of groceries because their husband left them? What about the people who can’t fill the hole in their core because they don’t know Christ? Clayton King (look him up) talks about how we need to be generous. How generosity is what Jesus would do. So why don’t we be generous with our time and instead of spending time complaining why don’t we spend time praying for those people. I challenge you to pray for people with greater needs than you next time you start to feel sorry for yourself. God blesses those who bless others.

Heaven can’t contain the glory of the Son, Jesus is the...

Sat, 13 Nov 2010 12:43:50 -0500

Heaven can’t contain the glory of the Son,

Jesus is the Christ, the saving One,

His love has made a way,

The grave is over come,

Jesus is the Christ, the saving One.

The simplest things bring the biggest joy.

Sun, 07 Nov 2010 16:00:32 -0500

The simplest things bring the biggest joy.

Arbor Vitae Tree of Life

Thu, 04 Nov 2010 16:33:28 -0400

Arbor Vitae

Tree of Life